Against my doctor’s orders, I have been doing a lot of thinking. A big part of thinking is noticing, and it is easy to notice things when you open up your life to the possibility, man. Sometimes the world is a’whispering and other times it is screaming like a chicken without its manners. It’s up to you whether or not you want to listen, know what I mean?

The sun. The moon. The ouroboros. Time. The AT&T logo. What do they have in common? They are all circles. The world (and beyond) are full of circles. That is what I am here to reverse-listen to you about.

Allow me to get to the point faster by going back a while. One year ago I was dirt poor. I didn’t have a job. I was living out of my motorcycle. Worstly, not ONE of the big publishing houses was interested in my manuscript about what I think really killed the dinosaurs (a house fire.) Now I am ass rich. I get flown around the country - yes, on an airplane - to give talks to college students just like you about my journey.

An important part of embracing and living by The Circularity is accepting that things are never permanent and, more often than never, you are going to end up right back where you started from. You will die in darkness because that is where you were born. This is why I eat every gold-leaf ice cream Mondae (Mondaes are the new Sundaes) as if it is my last. I make decisions, people. The decision to sell my bones and teeth on the internet after finding out that they had rare, medicinal properties is what made me my fortune. An equally spontaneous decision could put me right back in that motorcycle on the side of the highway, wondering when my next meal will be thrown out of a passing car. Usually, it was whole-smoked cigarettes. Cigarettes are...? That’s right... circles if you bend’em right. Mind if I light up? Mm, smooth.

Listen- shit, the Earth, that’s another circle I forgot to mention up top. Mother Gaia.

Scenario: you got no one, you get a cat, you love the cat, the cat loves you, the cat gets bored, you don’t excite the cat anymore, you used to go out and chase mice together, now you are boring, the cat wants to take a break, you know the cat ain’t coming back, you got no one. Circle.

I’m not crying. Can’t. I sold my tear ducts to the water company.

Look- fuck, the wheel, that’s another one I wanted to mention up top. Okay, look, I can stand here (using my special machine) all day and list circles for you, so I will: woks and clocks. Doll eyes, moon pies, big guys and chicken thighs. The thing on this guy’s shirt is a circle, what is that? What the fuck is a “death star?” What the fuck is a “star war?”

Oh shit, that sounds dope as hell.

Let me “circle” back to the point of this lecture. Live your life like it could stop at any moment and live every moment like it already happened. I am barely- living proof that circles work. But don’t take it from me... seriously do NOT take this from me, it is all I have. I got paid before I came into this lecture hall so I’m going to head out. See you a-ROUND.